Mine Are Grown… Or Are They?

Guest Blogger: Denise Carter

This will be short. Who has time in the midst of raising kids to read endless paragraphs, articles or books of ‘how-to’ advice’? Even in the age of the internet, there is not a one click fix for the second-by-second, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-yoga-pants job of parenting.

If you’re looking for unicorns and rainbows in my words, you won’t find it. If you’re looking to determine when you can retire, you won’t find it. If you’re looking for a timeline of when the worrying and self-judging will stop, you won’t find it either. Nor will you visually see paragraphs interrupted with pictures from an iPhone mimicking a 1950’s scrapbook because we had house phones that we answered! All you’ll see here are words from a nearly 70-year old Mom who raised 4 children under 5 in the dark ages of no social media. My four range from 28 to 33 and I am still learning because that doesn’t end either. My current sitch is one grandchild from an unmarried son, a married daughter with no children who travels the world selling diamonds in a world that is shuttered closed, another son who found a profound love of California and still has not found himself and one other son who is searching for affordable apartments while still living with me as his girlfriend struggles to pay student loans even as a well paid attorney. So no, they don’t all grow up and move out. Those four descriptions of what supposedly ‘grown’ children are doing should indicate to you that the worrying does not stop nor does your job.

So riddle me this: If I squeezed all the toothpaste out of a tube of toothpaste onto a plate, could you put it all back in? Well, you know the answer but try it with your kids. They will think you’re crazy (AGAIN), say they can’t, they won’t, they have to Google it or if you’re lucky, they’ll ask ‘what is the point’. Here’s your opportunity to tell them this:

Those are your words on that plate. Once the words leave your mouth, you can’t put them back in. Your words have power. They can hurt, demean, slander and wound others BUT they can heal, encourage, inspire and love others. Choose words with care. When others are misusing their words, guard yours. Make the choice every single day to ensure that only ‘life-giving’ words will fall out. Be the person known for gentleness and compassion. You will never, ever regret choosing kindness.

Choose Kindness.

So that’s it. That’s my post. Oh, and one more thing -- love a dog because when you are a 70-year old Mom, that four-legged child will give you back all the love you put in tenfold.

Denise Carter