It was all a phase…
Sleep, pump, breastfeed, clean shit diaper, repeat.
It’s all worth these sweet moments
Repeating “It’s all a phase, it will be over soon” is what has gotten us through so much as moms to young kids. With your first, you typically don’t know enough to realize that everything comes in phases, and every daunting phase (sleep regressions, teething, frustration at certain milestones, the CRAZIEST tantrums you’ll ever see), feels like they’ll never end! These “phases” can cause anxiety, fights with with spouses, and sleepless nights, which makes for long days where you’re not the most patient parent. In these times, you will experience the most intense mom guilt, and also want to cry because your baby, who might have been the happiest kid a mere week ago, is now constantly crying, and causing an unhappy household.
Classic tantrum
Don’t worry. Your happy baby WILL be back. Things will get back on track. But, part of this parenting gig is accepting and knowing that once you establish a routine, it will most likely change again. And again, you’ll figure it out, you’ll make it work, and things will get back on track. You’ll use this advice probably their entire life. Even when they’re teenagers, they will go through phases… I think i’d rather deal with teething than catching my kid at a keg party.
It’s important to remember that the things that you’re most worried about- your 5 year old still wearing a pull up at night, your 6 year old all of the sudden not wanting to sleep alone, your 2 year old still drinking out of a bottle- just remember, your kid most likely won’t go into high school or college still crawling into your bed. In fact, YOU’LL be the one knocking down their door at 12PM to get their asses up. He won’t go to college with his paci, or bottle. Don’t drive yourself crazy thinking it all needs to happen now. It will happen when both you and your child are ready for it to happen. Your cluttered house will not always be so cluttered with baby equipment and toys. One day, your yard won’t have popped balls, and water guns strewn across it… and I can guarantee, when that day comes, you’ll miss it. That’s what I have to remind myself constantly… as I find myself so frustrated having to lie down with my son for a 6th time and it’s approaching 10 PM, and imposing on MY alone time, or as I look at my house and can’t STAND the clutter. I have to constantly remind myself that this goes so damn fast. It seems as if they were just born, HOW is he so tall?! How does he know how to speak like a teenager already?! How is he riding a two wheeler?!
When is he giving up that newborn paci?! Not a battle I’m willing to take on right now.
That goes on your butt, not face!
By baby number 2, it’s kind of cool to be able to understand the concept that these things won’t last forever and you can even anticipate when each frustrating phase will happen. All kids are different, but generally speaking, a lot of them go through these same phases. It helps you to realize, “Ok, with baby number 1, this sleep regression lasted a couple of weeks… I can deal with that. It will all go back to ‘normal’”- whatever that means with kids! It helps you to be okay with the frustration and exhaustion, because you know it will come to an end. You will have picked up some tricks along the way. You also learn to know that right when things settle down, another phase will begin, and another change will happen. Don’t get used to a schedule for long! Right now my daughter, Siena, wants so badly to be more independent. She is frustrated, doesn’t have the right amount of confidence yet, and is CONSTANTLY clinging on to my neck. I call her my little koala. I can get really frustrated, but I know within the month, she will be off, more independent than ever, and my last baby, who has needed us more than any other child, will not need me, or want me as much. I’m really trying to cherish this time, even the frustrating parts.
My sweet Siena
My advice? Try your hardest to laugh about it. If there’s a mess, make the best of it. Make it fun, make it a game… even allow that food fight once in a blue moon! They will remember it forever. Let them be kids. Take breaks, take “me” time, get away for a weekend with friends if you can. Get a sitter and go on dates with your husband, and have girls nights. Sleep when you can, let them sleep with you once in awhile, make forts and have picnics. If your tired or hungover, or need a break, put on a show, give them a tablet and DON’T feel guilty for doing it. When your happy, well rested and take time for yourself, you’re a better mom. Enjoy this time. It goes so quick.
All out spaghetti fight
That WAS my lipstick
Much needed (and deserved) girls weekend
So, as your rocking that crying baby to sleep, and maybe crying yourself because you are so freaking exhausted, or when your getting you 6 year old ANOTHER glass of water, or when your picking him up off the floor while he’s kicking and screaming, just keep repeating to yourself: “This is all a phase… one day I might even miss it.”
Baking pies, rocking Si, and of course WINE
Rocking baby James. I can’t believe this was over 4 years ago.
Also, HIDE WHEN YOU CAN! (See video below where WE needed a break!) Haha…
Stay real and find balance,
Lyndsay and Nicole
